Tag Archives: communication

Do you know people who consistently poo-poo any new idea – especially yours? Without even taking the time to consider the nuances, the intricacies, and the brilliance of the thing, they say ‘no’ before the words are barely out of your mouth. Whatever you say, they disagree. You are wrong and they are right.

I know a few people like this.  I call them ‘energy suckers’. No matter how pumped you are, they come along with their energy-zapping vacuum and point it in your direction. They’ll cut down every point you make. Stomp on your enthusiasm. Squash your high until it’s as flat as a pancake; the school-yard bully to your Pollyanna.

Well guess what? You are right (likely – I don’t know what your idea is. If it’s jumping off a cliff without a parachute then I’m pretty sure, in this instance, you are likely wrong).

What I mean is, if you are coming up with ideas: ideas that light you up; ideas that get your creative juices flowing; spontaneous take-life-by-the-wazoo-and-enjoy-it ideas then you are right and they are wrong.

So how do you stay positive against such pessimism? 

This is a difficult question to answer and an even harder one to deploy. In my case, I have learned a few coping skills – long to come by, trial and error methods that seem to work, most of the time.

Method #1

First there’s the SIIYE method, short for ‘Stick-It-In-Your-Ear’. This took some learning, especially difficult for me since I am a do-what-I’m-told-don’t-make-waves kind of person so standing up for my point of view sometimes goes against the grain. This method works most easily if you are sure of yourself and know your idea is going to work. For me though, it’s a silent, to myself ‘Stick It’ to the perpetrator and I go ahead with my plans, without their blessing.  And when it works out, as it often does, proving them wrong is very sweet revenge – an imaginary highest-of-fives.

Method #2

Next there’s the ‘What’s That? I Didn’t Hear You?’ method. Again, be sure of yourself so you don’t get swayed.  Energy suckers sense unsure-ity. With this method, you have to be able to block out what they just said and pretend it never happened but the next step is crucial; you must self-talk yourself back to the top of the pyramid where you felt strong before you shared your thoughts, or quickly find a comrade to boost your moral. Timing is everything here. The quicker the better or their blabber will start to infiltrate your plan and knock you off your feet.

Method #3

Then we have the ‘Misery Loves Company’ method. This is when the dastardly deed-doer has succeeded in doing his dastardly deed and has sucked all the helium out of your balloon. This is where chocolate (lots of it) and a good friend with a sympathetic ear (you may need more than one of these) comes into play. You also need lots and lots of angel-on-your-shoulder self talk to get you back on track. This is vital since the devil on the other shoulder is smirking right about now. You have now been toppled from the tip of your peak and the climb back up seems steeper this time. But take heart, you will reach the summit again – stronger and wiser.

Method #4

Finally we have the ‘What’s Your Problem?’ method.  And this I mean sincerely. Sometimes it helps to try to understand why the person has thrown manure on you. What is happening with them that makes them so negative? Most often, they are jealous of your spirit, your ingenuity, your energy. They are envious of your position, and more importantly, disappointed with their own.  Once you meet them where they are, you may see it’s not about you at all thus allowing you the courage to follow through.  And on your way up to the top, throw some encouragement their way – their glass needs topping up.

Raise Your Shields

Once you’ve made your decision to embark on your own – without their help and assistance – mind your step. They may stick their foot out to trip you now and again. And should you start to crash, securely fasten your oxygen mask by activating the methods above. Learning to raise your shields will break their suction.

If you are sure of your destination, how you get there doesn’t much matter – as long as it’s honest – and

when you arrive is the precise moment you were meant to.

Share how you’ve gone against the cynics in your life and flourished in spite of them. 

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