Category Archives: reflections, observations & musings

A Symbolic Life

Posted on November 29, 2012 | 2 comments

Symbols surround us every day. We use them and show them without much thought.

What do the symbols you present say about you? 

Perhaps in this age of texts and tweets and emoticons, symbols are used more than ever before.

We add ‘xo’ and ‘<3’ to the ends of notes to loved ones.

🙂 and 😦 display our emotions which help the reader understand the many non-verbal conversations we have with one another, hoping to ensure that our meaning is not lost in translation.

Are symbols fairly new to us and based on electronic communications?  Many are but in the case of x’s and o’s, these have represented kisses and hugs for generations.

Let’s consider the other symbols that surround us:

Math provides us with a myriad of symbols, both positive or negative. Either adding or multiplying to our experience or negatively deducting from our source.

But what other symbols surround us in our daily existence?

As we age, we develop wrinkles and laugh lines.  Someone meeting us for the first time sees these symbols of experience and make deductions. They start to assess our age and place themselves in relation to us. Are we older, younger, by how much?

One of my favourite lines from the song Happy Baby by Shaye is: “These lines upon my face, I’d be a fool to erase ’cause they show my place in this world.” Yet so many of us, women in particular, are obsessed with hiding our age.  Who are we really trying to deceive?

What about visible scars? Do they symbolize a difficult life?  A serious accident? A birth defect?

Our clothes? Symbols of societal stature?

Cars: Symbols of financial class or moral standing?

Houses: what does the size of our homes symbolize to passersby?

Choice of vacation spots: financial, educational, or a symbol of our stage in life?

The books we read. The movies we watch. Do we play video games or not?

Our lives are full of symbols; symbols that others use to define us and that we use to define ourselves.

As our friend Forrest Gump stated in the video on my post “Life is like a box of chocolates…”, “there’s an awful lot you can tell about a person by their shoes; where they’re going; where they’ve been.” These are images of ourselves that we portray, for the most part, without even realizing it. But you can’t know the whole story until you the know the whole person.

Have you ever thought of the symbols you present to the world? Are they representing the real you?

Enjoy Happy Baby by Shaye – great song, great message, great Canadian group.

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Video credit: YouTube

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“Life is like a box of chocolates.

Posted on November 27, 2012 | 1 comment

You never know what you’re gonna get.” Forrest Gump

Life is full of surprises and twists and turns.  Some wonderful, some not.

You may start off in one direction and end up somewhere quite unexpected.

You may meet someone who changes your trajectory. They may present options to you that you hadn’t considered and venture down an unexplored path. Perhaps a promotion offers a career direction that leads you to further challenges.

Some of these twists and turns may end up being the things you look back on and categorize as ‘mistakes’.  Did you learn anything from your so-called ‘mistake’? If so, then perhaps it should be considered a lesson.  Is it a mistake only if you repeat it?

Reaching into your box of life-chocolate, you pull out your favourite one. Do you gobble it up and reach in again for another or do you savour it slowly trying to make it last?

Do you enjoy being surprised by the selections or are you more the type that prefers to check the map and select your chocolate carefully, considering all the options and leaving the unpleasant ones for last, or for someone else?

Some would say that isn’t living; that life should be experienced as it unfolds.

Some would say that is living with intention; you have a plan, desires, and you intend to see that you reach your goals.

Is one method more right than the other? Is one method more right for you?

You may never know what life will throw your way, but if you make a map, there are less surprises; for better or worse, the choice is yours to make.

Are you a read-the-map person or a take-what-you-get sort?

Clip from Forrest Gump

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Video credit: YouTube

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Happy Grateful Day, Again.

Posted on November 22, 2012 | 2 comments

Today marks Thanksgiving for my American neighbours to the south.

As stated in an earlier post, Canadian Thanksgiving happened more than a month ago.  It seems a bit odd that these two virtually equal events would be celebrated at such different times of the year but looking on the Bright-Side, it gives yet another time to stop and ponder for all that we are grateful.

We all lead busy lives, rushing to do what must get done and adding what didn’t onto the list of yet-to-do’s.  Planning for this, accomplishing that, starting the next thing; with head down, nose to the grind-stone, forging ahead.

It is nice to be able to stop and reflect on all the good in our lives, even if we have to be told to do it.  And with Thanksgiving as a national holiday, the collective stopping is refreshing and enlivening.

So whether or not you are officially celebrating Thanksgiving today, take at least a moment out of your day and make a mental list of all the blessings in your life. You may be surprised at the length of your list.

Happy November 22nd, Everyone!
I am thankful you stopped by.

What are you thankful for today?

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Sometimes Simple = Best

Posted on November 20, 2012 | Comments Off on Sometimes Simple = Best

Life is hard, period. 

However, there are times when things are definitely easier than others.

What is hard for someone, may be easy for others, and vice versa.

Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves and make things more complicated than they need to be. And then there are times when we don’t try at all and wonder why it didn’t work out or go our way.

Sometimes the best solutions are the ones that are so simple they don’t even cross our minds.

How simple? Think:

Peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
Grilled cheese sandwiches.
Cheese and crackers.
Milk and cookies.

In other words: Comforting. Familiar. Easy.

Can this way of thinking be applied to problem solving? Often, yes.

Sometimes we struggle so hard and long to find a way to:

resolve a conflict;
repair bad feelings;
lift someone’s spirits,

when a simple, heart-felt hug will do.

When your child is upset, just sitting beside them holding their hand may be all they need to feel better – to know that they are not alone and they are loved.

Life is hard. Simplify it when you can.

What do you do to simplify your life?

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8 Signs You Need A Break

Posted on November 15, 2012 | Comments Off on 8 Signs You Need A Break

8.  You’ve been standing for ten minutes beside the coffee maker waiting for it to brew before you realize that it is not plugged in.

7.  You open your lunch bag and it is empty.

6.  You find the cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the cupboard.

5.  You eat the discards from your child’s plate then praise them for finishing their entire meal.

4.  In the morning, you put your underwear on backwards and don’t notice until bedtime.

3.  Filling out a questionnaire, you can’t remember your own date of birth.

2.  Someone asks what you take in your coffee and you shout “How in the h*‡# am I supposed to know!”

And the number one sign that you need a break:

1.  Your big presentation is today and you are running late. You race into work and arrive with only three minutes to spare.
Then you realize it is Saturday.

Stress contributes to many health problems prevalent in today’s society.  Continuous stressful situations can lead to heart disease, depression and obesity, to name only three.

You need to put yourself at the top of the list.  Step back and evaluate your priorities.

What can you do to relieve some stress and give yourself a break from the overwhelming chaos that is your life?

  • Try going for a walk in the woods. Studies have shown that walking in nature greatly reduces stress.
  • Go for a run or to the gym. Strenuous exercise can work out some frustrations.
  • Take a long hot bath. Add lavender oil to the water to aid in relaxation and listen to soothing music.
  • Get a massage. You likely have knots that need to be worked out.
  • Meditate. Even just sitting still and breathing deeply will help to relax you.
  • Watch a funny movie. Laughter can lighten the load.
  • Get together with good friends. A sympathetic ear and someone to laugh with will do a world of good.

Remember: there is only one you and someone out there needs you to be around for them. De-stress and increase the time you have together.

Share how you de-stress.

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How Well Do You Treat Your Best Friend?

Posted on November 13, 2012 | 5 comments

We often focus on tending to the needs of others: our children, our spouse, our parents, our boss, our clients, our friends, our acquaintances, the cashier, the waiter.

We think about past conversations and how we could have said things differently.

We obsess about the one thing we wish we didn’t say in the heat of anger.

We read book after book on how to nurture our children so they grow up to be caring, productive individuals of society.

But we often forget to foster a relationship with the one person who will always be with us, through thick and thin, for better or worse – ourselves.

Who else gets up in the morning and faces all that you face?

Who else reacts exactly the way you do?

Who else is there for you every moment of every day, ready or not?

Who else knows your deepest and darkest secrets and consistently stands by you?

The answer: No-one else.  Just you. The ole Me, Myself and I.

Each and every one of us has this special person in our lives.

The one constant person who is with you from the moment you are born to the moment you die. 

So, what is your relationship with yourself?

Do you treat yourself well? I don’t mean do you treat yourself to gifts, although that’s important too – sometimes, to a certain degree.  I mean do you treat yourself with respect, kindness and forgiveness?

If you wanted to set yourself up for a date with the friend of a friend, how would you describe yourself to the friend’s friend? What words would you use?

What words do you tell yourself when a conversation doesn’t go as smoothly as you had hoped? Be careful. Words can hurt so speak gently.

What are the nicknames that you call yourself?  Are they endearing or demeaning?

Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Friend or Foe?

Do you like yourself?

You are going to be with yourself for quite some time so if things aren’t going well, now is the time to change all that.

Go easy on yourself. You’re only human.

Don’t beat yourself up if you screw up – and you will undoubtedly screw up from time to time, likely many times. Everyone does. Instead, learn from your mistakes and pledge to do better the next time.

Be your own best-friend; the kind of friend you are to others.

The better the relationship you have with yourself, the less you will stress over the relationships you have with others because being you, knowing yourself, and doing your best, is all people can expect of you and all that you can expect of yourself.

In your quest to be your own best friend, the first thing on your to-do list should be to give yourself an AWESOME nickname because when you’ve said something stupid to the cute guy you’ve been hoping for months to meet, instead of saying to yourself “Nice one, Dummy.”, wouldn’t “You are one unpredictable gal, Stellar Cosmic Chicana!” feel so much better?

What AWESOME nickname are you going to give yourself?  
Share it below. 

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What Is Your Chocolate?

Posted on November 8, 2012 | Comments Off on What Is Your Chocolate?

Chocolate covered almonds. Chocolate covered raisins. Chocolate covered peanuts. Chocolate covered chocolate.

Chocolate = Happiness. 

Chocolate = Satisfaction.

Chocolate is not only soothing and comforting, it can be used as an analogy to life’s pleasures.

A smile on the faces of family members, a hearty straight-from-the-depths-of-your-gut laugh, a hug precisely when needed, a baby’s cooing, dancing with abandon, someone to talk to when you need to vent, helping someone, making a difference in someone’s life or in the world are all examples of “life-chocolate”.

Enriching, satiating, elevating.

Basic food, water, safety and shelter are the meat and potatoes; the main course. The sustenance you need to survive; the means to keep you going to the next day.

But chocolate, ah! That is what makes life…well, life.

The sweetness that makes the drudgery bearable.

Without chocolate, there would be nothing to look forward to at the end of the ‘must do’.  No special treat with which to reward yourself.

Some of us have chocolate all around us but can’t see it. They live in the ‘hot/cold’ game.  They get close to it but walk right past it.  If no-one says “You’re getting warmer”, they don’t take notice or the time to seek it out.

Maybe that is why an Easter egg hunt is so much fun.

My chocolate may be your pie, or ice-cream, or cheesecake. The medium can change, the meaning remains.

Start filling your basket with all the chocolate you can find.  Just the act of starting to look means you are getting warmer.  And if you look around and realise that you are ‘burning hot’, get a bigger basket, then share it with your friends.

What is your chocolate?  Where did you find it?

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What Is The Price Of Change?

Posted on November 6, 2012 | 2 comments

~

When you think of change, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

Change of seasons?
Change of tactics?
Change of scenery?
Change of pace?
Change the channel?
Change your mind?
Change a tire?
Change a diaper?
Change your clothes?
Change your attitude?
The correct change?
Change for the better?
Change is as good as a holiday?
Change is what you need?
Change can kick-start a whole new outlook?

“People are always telling you that change is a good thing.  But all they’re really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen at all, has happened.”
Meg Ryan, You’ve Got Mail

True or False: Do you think change is for the better?

I have always said that I love spontaneity – but only if it’s my idea.
Do I feel the same way about change?

If you believe as I do, that everything happens for a reason, then I guess you could conclude that change is a good thing.  Or is it?

Perhaps change is simply inevitable.  

There are many inevitable things:

Life = good
Aging = good for a while
Death = not so good

So then is change something that is out of our control?

Some changes we purposely create, for better or worse (I’ll let you categorise them for yourself):

Moves – to new jobs, houses, cities, countries
Face-lifts, nose-jobs, tummy tucks, tattoos
New hair-styles or colour, clothes, shoes
Live together, split up, marriage, divorce

What is positive change for one person could be devastating for another depending on their life circumstances and how much control they had over the change.

Some changes we have collectively and inadvertently created:

Climate change
Ozone depletion
Extinction of species

As humans, we are not perfect and we make mistakes.

 What we haven’t learned yet is how to learn from our mistakes.

Some changes we refuse to make, or make quickly enough:

End to world hunger
End to wars and civil unrest
End to poisoning our air, soil and water

They seem simple enough to change when you see them in black and white, especially when you realise that all three boil down to one thing – greed.

Do we categorize good change as that which we can affect and bad change as that which is out of our control?

Whether on purpose or not, good or bad, some change is inevitable. Some might even call it fate.

But where we have control over change for the better, particularly where the health of ourselves and our planet is concerned, why wouldn’t we act to bring about change – now?

How about this for a change: let’s change our tune.

Let’s change our reaction – or non-action – into making a difference before inevitable becomes irreversible.

 Change your perspective.

 “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mother Theresa.

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Put One Foot In Front Of The Other

Posted on October 25, 2012 | 2 comments

“He who fails to plan is planning to fail” Winston Churchill

Do you have somewhere that you want to be? A career choice? A position in the community? A home in a specific neighbourhood?

How are you going to get there? Win a lottery?

We can all hope for the big freedom-inducing win but for most of us, buying the ticket only sweetens the pot of the winner.

So in the likelihood that your ship never arrives in port, what are you going to do? What’s your plan?

Think about where you want to be in 10 years. Financially. Spiritually. Physically. Socially. Career-wise.

How far are you from attaining that vision?

What are you going to need to get there?  More education? A healthier diet? More exercise?

Now, break it down. What are the steps that you can take now to work toward those goals.

Now break those steps down again. Then again. Until you have easy to manage steps that you can start today and which will steer you in the right direction.

Make some sort of reminder for yourself of your goal that you can carry around with you. For instance, if you want to save up for a special vacation but can’t ever seem to put money aside, carry a photo of the location in your wallet. Each time you reach in to make a purchase, look at the photo. Do you really need that latte now?*

Putting one foot in front of the other, even if they are only baby steps, will get you closer to attaining your goal.

Keeping the goal at the forefront of your mind will keep you walking in the right direction.

Plan for success!

What is the first small step that you will take toward reaching your goal?

*Financial tips like this one can be found on the Smart Cookies website.

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Should Preschoolers Rule the World?

Posted on October 23, 2012 | Comments Off on Should Preschoolers Rule the World?

You have likely heard the saying ‘All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten’.  It has become a common phrase, thought and concept but do you know who said it?

The author of this wisdom-for-a-modern-age is Robert Fulghum and it is more than a saying. Fulghum has delved into many early lessons and shares them beautifully in his book by the same name; a book of concepts that we all learned in Kindergarten that can be attributed to everyday adult situations.

What first comes to mind, at least to my mind, when I think of such early life-lessons is ‘sharing’ – definitely something acquired in the pits of preschool that affects our daily existence, no matter what our age.

So does Fulghum mean that after Kindergarten we might as well go out into the world since we’ve learned all we need to know? Of course he doesn’t. Or does he? Perhaps we should, because as adults, we seem to have forgotten some of the lessons – some of the important ones – or at least we have forgotten that they still apply to us and not just to our kids.

Why, as adults, do we not live by many of the lessons that we learned at four, five, six years old yet we consistently pass them down to our children generation after generation?

Why do we inherit or inhabit a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ approach to life?

I bought a book once, in a similar vein to Fulghum’s.  It is a small little book, the size you would think to buy a child.  It is filled with the wisdom of children derived from the author’s observances of her own children.  Each lesson on each page is short and sweet – much like children.  Some make you laugh, some bring back memories and some draw a tear.

The book is entitled Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me by Cynthia Copeland Lewis.  It is filled with wisdom such as:

“If the flowers you draw don’t look like anyone elses, that’s good.” 
“Anybody can skate on smooth ice.” 
and one of my favourites because of its true-idity:
“It’s possible to feel full when it comes to vegetables,
but not full when it comes to a piece of cake.”

Along with writing daily gratitudes on my Buddha Board, perhaps I will make these books my daily wisdom books – my how-am-I-doing check.

So in my journey toward walking on the brighter side of the street, thanks to Robert, I’ll remember to hold hands while I’m crossing, and thanks to Cynthia, I’ll resolve to never pop anyone else’s bubble.

…And of course, many thanks to Mrs. Ormsby, my kindergarten teacher.

As with many things, Robert Fulghum’s essay has been YouTube-ized and I feel it is definitely worth sharing.  A Bright-Side of the Web mid-week treat. Enjoy!

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